Here it is almost a month until my thirty-sixth birthday. I’m halfway through my thirties. I really feel like I have nothing to show. My thirties are not where I thought they would be. I’ve gotten used to the fact I might never marry or have children. But, I would like to think the other part of my life would be happy. Which makes me wonder. They say God works in mysterious ways and I should trust in God. But why this life? Why did God put me on this path? Is there a reason for this? I should be happy about this life, right? It could be worse, but still. Why me? What does so and so have that I don’t? Is there something I’m doing wrong?
Most people who see me see me as this happy person, but inside I’m questioning myself and God. Love him of course, but I can’t help but question.
I really hope 2016 is a better year, otherwise. Bring on the forties and get me out of the thirties.
I’m sorry the last few posts have been depressing. I promise a happy one. I do have to post my sci fi nerd block box post. Which I will try to post tomorrow.